In which there is the usual angst
Sep. 19th, 2011 04:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
driveustobemadI need to accept the fact that I need other people.
It's okay to need them, it does not make me a bad person. They are there to help.
I'm just...I don't know. Not scared exactly but nervous? I've had normal things drilled into me too much to feel comfortable doing it, I think.
Luckily I';m getting help. Nick and William are helping m out and being wonderful people and I adore them with everything i have and I would be lost without them.
I just....I don't know. I'm a happier person when I take a day off. I'm a saner person when I go inside and curl up on someone instead of staying out and trying to deal with my crazy there. I'm a better, more functional person when I give myself a break.
But somehow, there's a part of me that says no, I don't deserve that. I should take care of things myself, I should be able to do this. I just....need to shut that part of me up.
I long ago accepted the fact that I'm not making this up, that somehow, I'm just imagining things or whatever. Now I need to accept the fact that it's okay to let them help me.
It's okay to need them, it does not make me a bad person. They are there to help.
I'm just...I don't know. Not scared exactly but nervous? I've had normal things drilled into me too much to feel comfortable doing it, I think.
Luckily I';m getting help. Nick and William are helping m out and being wonderful people and I adore them with everything i have and I would be lost without them.
I just....I don't know. I'm a happier person when I take a day off. I'm a saner person when I go inside and curl up on someone instead of staying out and trying to deal with my crazy there. I'm a better, more functional person when I give myself a break.
But somehow, there's a part of me that says no, I don't deserve that. I should take care of things myself, I should be able to do this. I just....need to shut that part of me up.
I long ago accepted the fact that I'm not making this up, that somehow, I'm just imagining things or whatever. Now I need to accept the fact that it's okay to let them help me.
