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Aug. 31st, 2011 01:46 amOh god, the last few days have sucked.
There are not enough words to say how much I am so over the downspell.
Nick and William are over it too, not in any way towards me but more in a 'Oh god, you don't deserve this' kind of way which is kind of nice because I...yeah, am at a point where I do feel like i deserve this.
Yaaay poor brain functioning.
We've been playing hot potato with the front since yesterday, the boys dealing with anything that involves me leaving this room (and I mean anything I'd feel bad about it but I get too panicky thinking about leaving). I went out and got dinner by myself today though, everyone was very proud.
S!Neal split a couple of days ago. I don't really know where he went or when he'll be back. William caught him on his way out and he said he'll be back just...not really that soon. Which y'know, I'm not going to blame him. He needs to do what makes him feel good at this point, and if that's going off and pretending to be someone else for a while, then I say go for it.
P!Helen's been here a lot lately, ever since the whole thing with Neal, really, which isn't shocking. She's been settled in a corner with her house on and off, poking about and generally enjoying herself. I kind of miss proper Helen, as P!Helen doesn't take quite as kindly to being curled up on but she'll come back in time, I just need to be patient.
Vincent is still Vincent. I don't know. XD he's hanging out and being himself. He keeps providing me with random bits of amusement which is nice. I...almost want to curl up on him sometimes, then I realize he would not actually take kindly to it, so I stick with Nick and William instead.
So yeah, that is...kind of the state of the headspace right now. I'm breaking on a regular basis and everyone else is getting by or helping me out. Woosh.
Now I am going to wander off and read until someone decides they want to try sleeping tonight (we've been flipping coins to see who does it at this point).
There are not enough words to say how much I am so over the downspell.
Nick and William are over it too, not in any way towards me but more in a 'Oh god, you don't deserve this' kind of way which is kind of nice because I...yeah, am at a point where I do feel like i deserve this.
Yaaay poor brain functioning.
We've been playing hot potato with the front since yesterday, the boys dealing with anything that involves me leaving this room (and I mean anything I'd feel bad about it but I get too panicky thinking about leaving). I went out and got dinner by myself today though, everyone was very proud.
S!Neal split a couple of days ago. I don't really know where he went or when he'll be back. William caught him on his way out and he said he'll be back just...not really that soon. Which y'know, I'm not going to blame him. He needs to do what makes him feel good at this point, and if that's going off and pretending to be someone else for a while, then I say go for it.
P!Helen's been here a lot lately, ever since the whole thing with Neal, really, which isn't shocking. She's been settled in a corner with her house on and off, poking about and generally enjoying herself. I kind of miss proper Helen, as P!Helen doesn't take quite as kindly to being curled up on but she'll come back in time, I just need to be patient.
Vincent is still Vincent. I don't know. XD he's hanging out and being himself. He keeps providing me with random bits of amusement which is nice. I...almost want to curl up on him sometimes, then I realize he would not actually take kindly to it, so I stick with Nick and William instead.
So yeah, that is...kind of the state of the headspace right now. I'm breaking on a regular basis and everyone else is getting by or helping me out. Woosh.
Now I am going to wander off and read until someone decides they want to try sleeping tonight (we've been flipping coins to see who does it at this point).
