driveustobemad: (Default)
[personal profile] driveustobemad

Fuck me, I hate my body right now. I just got done having a near panic attack due to overcaffeination because I don't think my body takes caffeien the way it used to before I switched my drugs.

I just clawed the shit out of my left arm with my knife and god, it felt good. it was soothing and my heart is calmer and the tension that I got roj my mother telling me I was wasting my time is gone. I know it's not good and William is going to kill me if I buy the sharpening stone like I want to, but god, this si the only thing that works sometimes.

I mean, he is happier with e scratchign myself with a slightly dull knife than he is with me going at myself with scalpeols or razor blades but still, he'd rather I not do...ahny of it.

Which y'know, kicks in my guilt and just....a big mess.

I am just not...having a good week.

I am going to probably make tea, tea and bread and calm down a little more and try and earm the fucking space I take up bcause right now I feel like I should just either burn the world down or curl u under my desk and never come out again.

Date: 2012-06-04 01:51 am (UTC)
bookblather: A picture of Yomiko Readman looking at books with the text "bookgasm." (Default)
From: [personal profile] bookblather
*hugs lots and lots with love*

Date: 2012-06-04 05:02 am (UTC)
silveradept: A kodama with a trombone. The trombone is playing music, even though it is held in a rest position (Default)
From: [personal profile] silveradept
Today, we get through the day. Tomorrow, we get better. You are worth your space always.

Date: 2012-06-04 11:48 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] amethystfirefly
-offers hugs-

We do what we need to survive until we learn better ways to survive.

Date: 2012-06-04 08:00 pm (UTC)
pari: a bird-seahorse painting (Default)
From: [personal profile] pari
I'm so sorry for how difficult it's been. *offers you many hearts*

You don't need to "earn" your space. You deserve space by default, always. But I understand the feeling, I get it a lot too... But you, the space of you, your space, is beautiful and worthy, I promise.
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