(no subject)

[driveustobemad]

The Caretaker n(Or Cece, depending on who you are) is settling in well. She's curled up in the front right now, being calm and quiet and trying to help me push away the bad thoughts that have been trying to eat at me all day.

She's a good thing, I think, she's kind to me and smart and smug and challenging and mothering all at once. This is what I need, I think, this is what will help.

She's going to work on the Forest while I sleep, turning it into more of a shield than anything. She says she would have me do it while I'[m awake but my anxiety levels have been so bad lately that it will probably be easier for her to do it while I'm sleeping.

I never thought of these things, having shields and things li8ke that. I never thought i needed them.

I feel kind of like the little one in that regard, I don't know, it was just odd.

She's going to talk to Aurora and Catnip about maybe being protectors. There's no one who really does that, not really. n But those two can protect me and she'd especi8ally want Aurora for her magic.

All of these things are changing in my head, it'[s a big rush of shifting but I...don't know. Not in a bad way./ It feels natural, so I guess that means it's a good thing. *shrug* We'll see, I guess.

Anyway, there should be sleep. I want to get up early tomorrow and Nick says he got me a surprise while he was out the other day. l...have no idea what it is but I am kind0 of nervous. He already got me one thing that I am just amazed with, I can only imagine what the other thing is.

Comments

[thatyourefuse]

I am v.v. glad you are being looked out for, you. You and your lot have been very much in my thoughts recently (and I am thinking of some good words to write down for you. If there are some sorts of things you like particularly do let me know.)

[whatawaytoburn]

<333333 Thank you my dear. I really appreciate that you've been thinking of me. It makes me smile and I hope you're doing well yourself.

[silveradept]

Learning to cope sometimes means learning about things that you never thought you needed. Like a forest for bad things to get lost in, turned around, and gently but firmly shown the way out.

[whatawaytoburn]

*laughs* Yeah, I'm learning that. This is all very hnew and very odd for me but I'm starting to understand a little bit. I think it's going to take me a little time to wrap my head around everything but I'll get there.

[silveradept]

We always get there. Especially when you've got guides and mentors to help you get it all working properly. There's enough room for everyone there, yes? No feeling crowded?

[whatawaytoburn]

No, no. Not with the way our headdspace works. People can come and go and not everyone's here all the time.

Ni9ck says that, as much as he loves me, he does have other things to do with his time besides be my gay uncle, after all.

So yeah, we definitely have enough room.

[silveradept]

Okay. Sounds like an excellent headspace, then.

[avia]

Oh... that's wonderful. Shields! I don't usually think I need them either but... life is being so rough for you, you are caught in such a twisty current of the world's flow and, any little thing you can do to help is good, shields are good, keeping safe is good. If you have people who can take care of you, protect you, put defence around you then that is good, that is good, because you are a beautiful creature caught in a storm and shelter is good, it is natural.

I'm glad you might be getting protectors too. I don't know Catnip (such a dear name though! ♥), but, I would definitely trust Aurora for that.

I'm glad these changes are happening for you. I think they will make things better, I do.

[whatawaytoburn]

Aurora is going to make a good protector, I have no doubt about that. <3 She agreed too and I'm so, so grateful for that.

Catnip is a sweetheart. Who likes to make things explode. She's part of one of the families who live in the headspace. She takes care of them, so having one more person won't be too much trouble for her, I think.

I hope they might. I really do. I'm crossing my fingers, at the very least.

[amethystfirefly]

Mairyn says that a lot of mental illnesses involve an energy overload caused by too much energy coming in. Shielding helps filter that out, but it's not something that a lot of people think of because our world is very firmly focused on the physical and shielding is not a very physical thing.

I'm so, so glad that Cece is settling in well. I think she'll do you a whole helluva lot of good and will definitely speed along your healing.

♥

[whatawaytoburn]

I could see that yeah. I'm hoping that, between my drugs, this and maybe getting out of this house in the next couple of months, I'll actually be in a better place soon. I don't knwo if it will happen but damnit, I can hope. *laughs*.

She is settling in wonderfully. <3333 I could not be happier with her and I think she is a delight to have around. She curled up with me last night to sleep and it was...really nice. I can't explain it. I didn't dream or anything but it was a restful sleep. More than I've had in a while.

[amethystfirefly]

It will. :) I bet Cece has stuff working in the background that you don't even know about, to move energy towards what you need. :)

And I'm glad she helped your sleep. :) -hugs-